When times are tough, the world can feel like a really lonely place. When you are in lost in darkness it feels all-consuming, like you’ll never find the light.
I’ve been there, in the darkness, I’ve experienced the fear of not knowing what to do next, and I’ve felt trapped, paralysed by fear of the unknown, fear of the judgement of others and fear of not having security and certainty in my life. I’ve had times where my self-esteem was on the floor, my sense of self-worth eroded and where I’ve carried a heavy dark grey cloud around with me wherever I went.
At times like this I have felt completely and utterly alone and powerless to change my situation. Exhausted by all the thoughts running around in my head, the negative self-talk taking more chunks out of me, keeping me stuck, reinforcing the message I was weak for feeling the way I did when everyone around me looked like they had their life sussed out and were winning at it.
As a child I had this belief that having super powers would make life so much simpler and easy to navigate, as well as a whole heap more fun! Many times I wished for super powers that would help me. When I did something embarrassing I wished for the power of invisibility or the power of going back in time, when I felt lost and confused I wished for the power of knowing, when I wondered what others thought of me I wished for the power of reading minds, when I wanted to see friends I wished for the power of teleporting – how awesome would that be?!
The Good Witch…
Earlier this year I was at a professional speakers’ boot camp and one of the delegates mentioned that she thought my name was unusual and asked where it originated from. I had introduced myself as Glin, a shortened version of my name, so I shared that my full name was Glinder and then I joked that I’d been named after the Good Witch from the Wizard of Oz, which I hadn’t of course but I thought it made a cool story!
That evening, back home, I found myself reflecting on the day at the boot camp and the conversations I’d had with the new friends I had made. As I enjoyed a glass of wine, relaxing on the couch after the long day, I glanced down at my side table and noticed the ceramic coaster I had bought, a year earlier from a Sunday market in St Kilda, in Melbourne. The message hit me right between the eyes, it was so true but I had never paid attention before. I read it once and then again, I smiled and laughed out loud to myself.
It was a quote from the Wizard of Oz – where the good witch Glinda tells Dorothy “you’ve always had the power my dear, you just had to learn it for yourself” – I’d bought the coaster because it had my name on it but never before had I really understood the message. How could I have not realised!
It may sound crazy but in that moment it became clear, I realised that I had all the power I needed to find my way home in any situation. That what I sought was not on the outside, but inside of me. Reading that quote gave me the strength to believe in myself and realise that I could change my life to be whatever I wanted, because I had the power within.
Is everything really fine?
We can find ourselves in darkness for many reasons whether it’s because we aren’t in the right environment at work, perhaps it’s because we have toxic people in our lives, or we’ve been let down by people we have trusted and find ourselves feeling isolated. Whatever the reason, firstly understand you are not alone, we all go through these periods in our lives, every single human to varying degrees – many just don’t ever talk about it and hide behind a façade of everything being just fine, always fine.
But the truth is things aren’t always fine. Just like the weather isn’t always fine, we have good and bad days, we have moments of happiness and moments of sadness, moments of joy and moments of utter despair, moments of bathing in the glorious light and moments of darkness.
I’ve found myself in the darkness a few times this year when I’ve wanted for certain situations, outside of my control, to be different, but now with the knowledge and understanding of my own power I don’t battle with it in the same way. I know if I look within I’ll be guided to my heart’s desire. I understand that the darkness I experience has been necessary to appreciate the light, that each time, it re-directs me to an opportunity for growth. I’ve learned that if I make the big decisions in my life with my heart and leave the small ones for my head that there no such thing as the wrong direction. If I pour love into myself rather than allow the negative self-talk, I see clearer and the path forward presents itself. I’ve learned that if I can fall still and let go of my thoughts, through meditation, that I open myself to hearing the answers to the questions I ask. If I do something kind for me each day I feel nourished and energised to give more to others.
Your super power...
Wherever you are and whatever you are experiencing know that you have the power within to transform your day. I chose the word ‘day’ deliberately rather than ‘life’ because if you focus on one day at a time you’ll look back one day and see how you transformed your life without even realising.
We all have a super power and it’s unique to each and every one of us, it’s the ‘power within’ – practice using it every day and soon you’ll realise you are your very own super hero.