What if we loved ourselves with the same ferocity we love others? What would life look like? What would we achieve? Where would we go? What would we do? Who would we become?
I've pondered this a lot this week.
Returning back to grey rainy Sydney (not the usual greeting!) and walking into a cold empty apartment I couldn't help but feel a little down. I'd just had two wonderful weeks visiting family and friends in England and had felt so much love but now I was on my own again.
Building a new business and working from home I also realised I wasn't going into the office to be greeted with the warm smiles and interest from my colleagues about my trip. It was just me.
Hearing the news of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain's suicides this week was a harsh reminder of how isolating life can feel even if you are surrounded by people that love you.
It got me thinking about love and wondering how much time do we spend cultivating that for ourselves?
I'm not sure that it's very much. When I think about what I'd do for someone I love it's far more than I'd do for myself. But the question I have is - why is that?
Why don't we talk as kindly to ourselves as we do to them? Why do we judge ourselves so harshly yet offer non-judgement to others? Why do we think we aren't good enough yet find it so easy to show others they are? Why do we punish ourselves repeatedly for our failings but offer forgiveness to those we love. How do we become cheerleaders for them yet find it hard to be our own cheerleader?
I'm not sure I know the answers but I do believe that if we loved ourselves with the same ferocity we love others we'd be doing ourselves a huge service. I believe that if we loved ourselves deeply perhaps the sense of isolation that we feel at times would be replaced with a deep rooted understanding that we belong. That the opportunities we would shoot for would be much greater because we didn't have any doubts about whether we are enough. That the joy in our lives would increase exponentially because each of us know what it feels like when others love us - imagine access to that love 24/7 from yourself? The voices in your head would only speak positive encouraging thoughts and the challenges you face wouldn't be so scary because you know you have the backing of love not fear.
Imagine seeing yourself through the eyes of some who loves you, see how wonderful you are - how they love you for all of your imperfections - now imagine those eyes are yours - how liberating would that feel?
I'll certainly be continuing to invest in cultivating self love and I look forward to seeing where it takes me. I have a feeling it will be somewhere incredible.
To loving yourself.