We are better together than we are alone but why is asking for help is the scariest thing?
This week I’ve been navigating the challenges of apartment hunting in Sydney. The fifteen minute pre-scheduled appointment slots, the estate agents not turning up on time or turning up without the keys to enable a viewing (yes this has happened four times now!), crowds of people viewing the same apartment at the same time, the computer generated images looking nothing like the apartments in real life, the misleading descriptions stating ‘light and airy’ only to find the apartment with no natural light!
It’s not the been highlight of my week and as the deadline for my lease expiry races towards me I find myself feeling the overwhelm of everything that needs to be organised - including a Plan B if I don’t find something on time!
But I’m not writing this to have a whinge (ok maybe a little) but the topic for this week comes from recognising and observing that I was struggling to ask for help. How many of you have felt the same? Why do we find it so hard?
It was interesting to observe how I was attempting to navigate one of the least fun and stressful times all by myself.
Asking for help felt uncomfortable, I didn’t want to be a burden to anyone and I also had this inner narrative that was telling me to just get on with it and stop making it a big deal, so instead I rolled up my sleeves and continued to push through the overwhelm and attempt to manage the emotional rollercoaster.
What a great way to increase the internal pressure cooker!
It was only when friends insisted on coming round and helping me pack this week that I realised how much I’d been needing support and how good it felt to not be navigating this alone.
We all spend so much time being strong and doing things the hard way but asking for help can really be a gift you can give yourself and others.
Yes ok not everyone is as generous with their time or as in tune to what you might be needing as some of my friends were this week and trust me and I experienced plenty of the opposite this week too, which also contributed to the narrative of don’t make it a big deal, just get on with it.
But it is a big deal and I did realise that I needed help, I realised in fact that I needed to insist on asking for it. It takes courage to ask for help and it’s not a weakness, if anything it shows how strong you are in recognising it.
We don’t have to do everything by ourselves and seeing how friends leaned in for me this week made me see how I needed to lean in for myself and not be fearful of asking for help.
How will you lean in for yourself and for others this week? Will you be brave enough to ask for help? Will you be brave enough to insist on giving help to others even when they don’t ask, just as friends did with me?
I for one will be observing my own patterns and doing what I can to disrupt them for the better!