SG073 - Lost and lonely

“Must power through, it’ll be alright.”

“Anyway it’s no big deal.”

“I’ll figure it out. I’ll be fine.”

It’s been an interesting and challenging week, the themes that have come up in coaching clients this week have resonated so deeply.

I see the brave faces, the masked smiles over their inner turmoil and I see the fear of sharing too much. The fear that perhaps if they let go of the vice grip of their emotions that they’d perhaps lose control.

The control to present a picture of everything is good even though there is a sense of emptiness they feel.

It pains me to see how the feelings of isolation are suppressed and how the feelings of lostness are bubbling under the surface but are being heavily managed to stay below the surface - to not reveal themselves.

It pains me to see the sense of shame they feel for not knowing how they got to where they are and the fear of being stuck, lost, not knowing how to move forward and the numbness that comes with the efforts to cope, to mange, to control.

The sense of “I must keep it together and mustn’t show too much emotion”.

It pains me because I recognise those emotions. I recognise the patterns. I’ve been there.

I’m not a counselor or a therapist, the majority of my coaching work is supporting people navigating their careers, businesses and also their lives around that but I know all too well our career and business success is so heavily determined by everything else that is going on in our lives.

As I held space for clients this week I felt grateful to hold such a privileged role. I knew I could come from a place of true understanding and empathy, with no judgement and help them move forward. I also recognise there are many more people out there feeling the same without the support structures in place to help them navigate.

This weekend, after a 12hr day in a coaching workshop, I found myself temporarily visiting that space of emptiness and loneliness as I too pondered where I was headed in life.

On Sunday morning I took myself for a 12km run to clear my head, I meditated and I caught up with two good friends during the course of the afternoon and evening - friends I could be my whole self with and share my feelings of emptiness and loneliness.

Whilst it’s confronting to write this, as my own fear of judgement and vulnerability kicks in, I know how important it is to share. There is too much on social media that presents a picture perfect life - I certainly know mine isn’t like that.

My good friend reminded me of a quote from Gary Vaynerchuk “document, don’t create” and it helped me see what was necessary.

We all think we need to ‘create’ content based on what we think people want to see but actually the truth lies in the documented journey. In the moment, sharing what is real and how are we navigating through it.

Perhaps in twenty years time people will read this blog and see my growth and development as a guide for their own journey’s because it’s grounded in truth.

The evidence over years in my documenting of the highs and the lows and the lessons learned along the way.

It documents the process of a regular human…..being.

I know I often find myself in the trap of over thinking and fearing judgement of others again - it’s ironic. I called my business SimplyGlin because I was giving myself permission to be authentically me (not because of over inflated ego!) and so I could show other people that it was ok to be themselves too, but I guess I lost my way a little too.

We all do from time to time.

It was a good reminder.