Choosing truth over false harmony.

Bitch, Please!

Now when you say this out loud, say it with full sass, the kind of unapologetic, soulful delivery that makes you laugh, nod, and know they’re deadly serious “enough, with taking the piss.”

I’ll caveat, maybe this week’s heart-to-heart is my perimenopause speaking. But if I’m honest, I think it’s my 45-year-old self saying I’ve had enough. Enough of being tolerant. Enough of being polite. Enough of watching bad behaviour and swallowing my truth because I’m scared of the repercussions.

And don’t we all reach that point?

The inner work I’ve been doing this year has stripped away my tolerance for behaviours I used to excuse in order to keep others comfortable. Every time I chose politeness over honesty, I was really choosing to abandon myself.

That’s the Identity Trap, the trap of wanting to be liked, of gritting your teeth while your insides rage, of keeping quiet for the sake of harmony.

But politeness isn’t harmony. When it’s misused, it becomes a mask, one that hides truth, pretends everything is fine, and slowly suffocates the people behind it.

And here’s a truth I’ve wondered about, maybe in the past I have pissed people off and they’ve stayed quiet. But that’s the problem with politeness - it keeps resentment underground, where it festers, instead of bringing it into the open where it can be dealt with honestly.

This week reflected that truth back to me.

• The highlight: four days of delivering workshops with a client in Melbourne, plus dinner with one of my private coaching clients, finally meeting in person.

• The lowlight: five nights of restless sleep. Tossing, turning, waking. My body refusing to rest, maybe hormones, maybe something else, but it felt like a nod from within, saying -  you can’t lie still in what you’re no longer willing to tolerate.

Then came two moments that turned restlessness into a roar.

1. Friendship treated like a funnel

A friend sent me a nurture email for her retreat, listing the amazing women already on board and nudging me to join. And I was pissed.

Not because she’s running a retreat, I love seeing women doing brave, creative things. I was pissed because she treated our friendship like a funnel.

Friends aren’t leads. Friendship is about connection, not conversion. If I want what you’re offering, I’ll ask. If you want my support, be upfront: ask me to share it with others who might be looking. But don’t disguise a sales pitch as a moment of care, it erodes the sense of safety that friendship is meant to rest on.

2. Hiring treated like a transaction

Someone close to me went to an interview this week. They’d been invited in by the CEO herself, only to arrive and be told she couldn’t make it. Instead, her EA and a junior finance manager “carried on the conversation.” They explained the CEO wanted a different archetype according to a predictive index, that the candidate’s profile wasn’t a fit.

It wasn’t the first time either. Six months ago, this same candidate had another meeting lined up with the CEO. Twenty-five minutes in, she cut it short, explaining she had to leave for a dentist appointment she’d booked over the interview slot, because it was the only one she could get.

She promised to reschedule and never did. She hired internally instead. That hire didn’t work out, and here the role was again.

Bitch, please.

When someone drives forty minutes to meet you, the least you can do is let them know you won’t be there. You don’t delegate a senior role conversation to your EA. And if you want to build your culture around personality tests instead of real human conversations, fine, but don’t wonder why your team aren’t working out when your culture evidences dehumanising people on the way in.

FFS!

The deeper truth

Here’s what I’ve come to see these aren’t just annoyances. They’re mirrors. Whether it’s being sold to by a friend, dismissed by a leader, or silencing yourself in the name of politeness - the real negotiation happening is within.

Do you abandon yourself to keep the peace, or do you stand in your truth and risk being uncomfortable?

That’s what it means to master negotiation from the inside out. Influence isn’t about being liked. It’s about being real. Identity isn’t about the masks we wear. It’s about the courage to show up without them.

So maybe this week’s lesson is simple:

• Don’t treat your friends as leads.

• Don’t treat candidates as data points.

• And above all, don’t treat yourself as less important than keeping the peace.

   

Because when you catch yourself smiling through gritted teeth and calling it politeness?

Bitch, please.

You’re worth more than that.

Keep going and keep growing.

Love Glin x

P.S. Three things I'm grateful for this week:

1. Getting my submission in for TEDx USC
   I’ve no idea if I’ll be successful, but I put in an application for my local TEDx, hosted by the University of Sunshine Coast. The theme is interconnection, and I’m grateful for the process itself, it gave me time to really reflect on what that means and to craft an idea I believe is worth sharing.

2. Meeting one of my clients in person
   A beautiful dinner at Nobu on Southbank, deepening the connection with one of my clients, an absolute powerhouse MD who reminds me what true power looks like every time she honours herself in the face of difficult conversations.

3. John taking care of things at home while I’ve been away
   I’m so grateful that whenever I’m travelling for work, I’ve got John in my corner looking after things at home. I don’t ever want to take for granted the support that gives me space to follow my dreams.