Who are the 'they' whose thoughts and opinions you consistently concern yourself with?
You know, the ones you think of when you ask yourself questions like:
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What will they think?
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What if they think I've lost the plot based on what I share?
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What if they judge me?
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What if they don't think I'm credible, smart, or capable?
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What if what they think impacts my success?
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What if they think I'm not worth paying that much for?
Perhaps some of these questions will sound familiar to you. I know I recognise them as mine.
So who are they?
It’s a question I’ve asked myself often, trying to make sense of the fears that come up when I put myself out there - fully, truthfully, vulnerably.
And yet, when I try to picture who they are, no single person or group comes to mind.
When I go deeper, I realise that in the past they have been:
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Old colleagues and bosses
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Friends and family
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Clients I’ve worked with
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Connections on LinkedIn or followers on Instagram
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Listeners of my podcast
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Readers of this weekly heart to heart or my Substack
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People I’ve met in business or entrepreneur groups
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People I admire
The they in my mind could be anyone.
But perhaps they are the people I think matter. Whether I know them or not. Which could be thousands of humans across the world.
And the truth is, worrying about they, even when I can’t place who they are, stops me from being all of myself.
It stops me from expressing the fullest version of who I am.
It stifles creativity. It leaves me beige, safe, playing in the middle. It dulls my edge and slowly kills off my soul in an attempt to manage what they might think.
It’s insane. And yet I know I’m not alone in this. I’ve spoken to friends, colleagues, neighbours - anyone willing to reflect with me on who they are for them.
Then just this past Friday, I had a conversation with someone in my network that changed everything.
He shared a thought so simple,“People don’t realise it’s about they to thee”, and yet so powerful, it felt like a cure for something I didn’t even realise I was still suffering from. I don’t think he realised the impact those words would have on me.
What if it’s not about they at all?
What if it’s about thee?
What would shift if you moved your focus from they to thee?
If you turned your attention inward - what would you notice?
That one line shifted something profound for me. What once felt like a lifelong affliction suddenly softened. The journey from they to thee brought me closer to inner freedom.
Instead of asking, What will they think?
I now ask, What will thee think?
It sounds playful in its old-world language. And it makes me smile.
I respond with: Thee thinks that’s a wonderful idea. Thee would be very happy with that.
Simple. But wildly effective in pulling me out of the internal stories that keep me small. The ones that say I must hide certain parts of myself from they, when in fact, thee just wants to be seen as she is.
Last October, an Akashic Records reader told me I had to embody the message I wanted to write in my next book.
The book I’d been dreaming of ever since writing The Negotiation Playbook. The one that dives into the deepest negotiation of all, the one we have with ourselves.
I couldn’t write that book back then. Because I hadn’t won that inner negotiation. I was still hiding behind business brands and moulding myself into what I thought they needed from me. I spent too much time worrying about what they would think.
But this year is different. You already know that. This is a year of deep inner transformation. And this shift, from they to thee, has made it even more potent.
I feel closer than ever to writing the book I truly want to write, from lived experience, not theory.
Because the inner negotiations shape everything. They shape how we lead, love, show up, speak, create, and contribute. They shape what we believe we’re worth and what we allow ourselves to receive.
So how much are you leaving on the table because you’re giving too much weight to they instead of thee?
I know I was leaving parts of my authentic self on the table, and that’s something I’m no longer willing to do.
I’m excited. I’m getting out of my own way. And it’s only the first half of 2025!
This year is going to be epic.
Keep going and keep growing.
Love Glin x
P.S. Three wins from my week:
1. Noosa 10km Completed
I haven’t run more than 5km in the last couple of years. Most of my running lately has just been parkruns, and the last one I did was two weeks ago. So it’s fair to say I hadn’t trained for the 10km I ran yesterday. I finished in 1 hour, 9 minutes and 52 seconds - slow and steady, averaging 7-minute kms. But I enjoyed it. All of it. Well… maybe not the heat. Running in 25/26 degrees isn’t my idea of fun!
2. Meeting Scott Tilemma - Ex SWAT Hostage Negotiator
Scott and I connected through LinkedIn with our shared love of negotiation. His background is way cooler than mine, he’s an ex-SWAT hostage negotiator and was in Australia for work. We caught up in person, and it was such a joy. He’s a kind, insightful human and I’m grateful for the connection.
3. Drinks with the neighbours
Simple but meaningful. I feel lucky to have neighbours who genuinely look out for each other and make this place feel like home. We’ve got a group chat called Margaritas, and even though this is a no-alcohol year for me, it still felt so good to be in great company and share a few laughs. Connection really is everything.
P.P.S - If you want an insight into how I see and navigate my own inner world, I share my thoughts and musings in voice note form to my secret podcast. It can be accessed through the link below.
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