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#164: Glin & Tonic - Escaping the Identity Trap

by Glin Bayley
Jul 27, 2025
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What I’m learning about identity, evolution, and expansion

 

Something profoundly shifted for me this week. 

You know when you feel something so deeply it's hard to describe?

 

It was a sense that I'd transcended another layer of fear that had been holding me back. I think it was the fear of being seen as I am - the fear of visibility, or the fear of creating something new. 

 

It was a sense of knowing that things wouldn’t ever be the same. Because that fear, the one I struggle to fully name, isn’t there anymore. 

 

Energetically, it felt like I’d claimed my future path. That I was committing fully to the journey. 

 

On Monday, I started writing the first chapter of my next book.

The synchronicity of the week wasn’t lost on me, because I wrote about the vow.  The one we make to ourselves when choosing our future.

The vow we commit to keeping, not breaking. 

 

Perhaps that was the energy I claimed this week. 

 

By Wednesday, I felt a deep sense that I was ready.

Ready to embark on the journey. Ready to stop half-heartedly committing to the future I thought I should want.

And instead, to fully commit to the one I feel deeply called to. The one that’s still unfolding and filled with unknowns. 

 

I know that my work in teaching and training commercial negotiation skills, and my deep inner identity work are colliding.

I’m bringing the fragmented parts of my identity together.


I’m releasing myself from the identity trap I’ve been in, no longer contorting myself to fit into boxes that were never designed for me. 

 

On Friday, I ended the week with a full heart.

Two 1:1 coaching sessions with executive leaders left me feeling deeply fulfilled. The conversations showed me something powerful.

I’m no longer in the world of proving or performing. I’m no longer hiding parts of myself reserved for a select few. I was present. Fully. With myself and with them.

And the shifts in their awareness as a result were incredible to witness. 

 

I’m beginning to see that I’m moving towards a version of myself where “I” no longer exists. 

Sounds strange, I know.

I’m talking about the part of me that’s attached to being seen as an individual.

Special. Unique. Different. My ego. 

 

Why?

Because when we detach from identity, we remember we’re part of a whole.

We are of the same consciousness.

We are human, but we are also one. 

 

It’s this perceived separation from each other that causes us to work against each other. And, often, against ourselves. 

 

The collective consciousness we’re part of always exists. It’s always present. The only thing that evolves is our awareness of it. 

 

I think that’s what I’m beginning to truly understand.

That my awareness is expanding. And with it, my attachment to who I am, and how others see me, is shifting. 

 

I’m freeing myself from the need to own an identity.

And in doing so, I’m starting to experience a deeper truth.

That I am that I am. 

This awareness is making clear the work I’m here to do - to help individuals and businesses expand and evolve. 

 

All businesses want to grow.

But in working with large corporates, I’m seeing the impact of businesses that are expanding without evolving. 

 

To put it simply...

Long-term business growth only happens when the people within the business - who represent the consciousness of the organisation - also evolve. 

 

True growth requires expansion beyond comfort.

It requires the constant transcendence of the last level.

But if the people within the business don’t expand their awareness, the business can only grow to the level of their consciousness. 

 

Evolution, in nature and in business, demands more efficient systems.

And efficiency is based on simplicity - not complexity.

That’s why we see cycles of expansion and contraction in organisations.

When things get too complex, they must be simplified.

It’s necessary for evolution. 

 

What makes these cycles painful is the low level of awareness in many organisations - and in many old-school leaders.

People are the consciousness of the business.

And when things contract, what people often feel is fear.

Fear of becoming irrelevant.

Fear of their own metaphorical death within the system. 

 

This is the deep identity work businesses are missing.

 

Expansion and evolution require surrendering the identity of who you once were. You can’t evolve and grow without shedding what no longer serves the future you’re here to create. 

 

When we see ourselves purely as individuals, we fear death.

The death of the “I”. The death of relevance. The death of control. 

 

But when we release attachment to that identity, we open to the understanding that we are part of something greater.

That when one identity dies, we don’t disappear - we return to consciousness.

The source of our beginning. 

It’s in letting go of “I” that we allow space for what must be reborn.

That we make decisions from service rather than survival. 

 

I’m not sure how many of you will resonate with what I’m sharing - this shift was profound. And it may only land clearly when you’re ready to receive it. 

 

What I’ve become deeply aware of is this...

We are limited in our growth by the immaturity of our understanding of evolution. 

 

Our desire to grow without evolving is what keeps us stuck.

 

Evolution requires a death.

It demands surrender.

And that’s where most stop. 

 

I can’t become the future version of myself unless I’m willing to let the current version of me die. 

 

Many people and businesses won’t get this.

But it’s the work I’m here to do.

 

It’s not the easy path.

But it’s a necessary one - if we truly want to create a more conscious world. 

 

A world where we act as one consciousness.

Where we ask how can I serve? rather than how do I survive? 

 

I don’t yet know how the path forward will unfold, but I’m committing to it. 

 

To make this insight more accessible.

To expand awareness so that consciousness can penetrate more deeply into both individuals and organisations. 

 

What’s expanded my own awareness to the next level is Human Design.

This blueprint has helped me see myself clearly.

I mostly no longer fear being seen.

Because I understand where I belong, and the work I’m here to do. 

 

Through my own experiment, I’m seeing that when I focus on service over survival, everything changes. 

 

It’s been a profound awakening.

And now, whether clients come to me for help with their inner or outer negotiation strategy, I know that their Human Design is a tool that can evolve them as much as it expands them. 

 

I’ll keep writing my book, the current working title is Escaping the Identity Trap.


I’m also pondering a new space I’m calling The Expansion Room. 

 

A space for executive leaders who want to expand and evolve - not just themselves, but other leaders within their organisations. Leaders who recognise that sustainable growth requires conscious evolution. 

 

I don’t yet know what The Expansion Room will look like, but if you’re curious or feel a nudge of interest, please get in touch.

 

I’d like to create something in response to the real challenges and needs of conscious leaders in negotiating and influencing the outcomes that matter. 

 

Because expansion without evolution is just unsustainable growth - you only have to look at nature to know what's true.

 

Keep going and keep growing.

 

Love Glin x

💛

  

P.S. Three things I'm grateful for this week:

 

1. Creating Space
Committing to my future self hasn’t been easy, but I’m so grateful for the space I’ve created to allow myself to write and go deeper with the identity work I want to share.

 

2. Connection to my intuition
For a long time, I’ve overridden my body’s intuition with my rational and logical mind. This week, I felt grateful to experience that inner knowing again - it’s showing me that my connection to my higher self is being restored.

 

3. Wholeness
The more I’ve worked on myself, the more whole I feel. It’s bringing a different level of potency to my work in negotiation and influence. It’s hard to explain, but the simplest way to say it is - I no longer feel like I’m betraying my true self.

 

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