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#146: Glin & Tonic - The Courage to Disappoint

by Glin Bayley
Mar 23, 2025
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Have you ever had one of those holidays where you think you're going for rest and relaxation but instead experience an exorcism of your ego and a shedding of even more false layers of your existing life?

 

No? Just me?

 

Perth has been amazing this week. Spending time with my good friend, who also happens to be an illusion detector and truth revealer, has meant my rest and relaxation has been infused with facing confronting truths about myself and my life.

 

Do you have friends who love to hold up a mirror to who you're being and the misalignments in your life?

 

My last few days have involved digging deep, making uncomfortable decisions, and some ugly crying as my ego experiences its third death this year.

 

I'm deeply grateful for having friends who are as invested in my future health and happiness as I am. I can also see why so many people avoid doing the inner work.

 

Creating a life that seems impossible to your present self requires becoming the identity of someone you've never been before, and in turn, shedding the parts of your identity that no longer serve the future you are creating.

 

I can't say much more yet about the changes I've made this week, or why I was ugly crying, because I'm still integrating the shifts from these past few days and have a lot to process.

 

I will share that there were some signs from the universe, in the form of number plates on cars directly in front of me during this trip, that are confirming I'm on the right track.

 

One was GR82BFREE and the other FULLOUT.

 

I'm choosing a life of freedom, and I know to access that, I have to play full out.

 

Earlier this week, I was on a panel of speakers for International Women's Day for ALPMA, the Australasian Legal Practice Management Association.

 

Alongside three other incredible women and a phenomenal facilitator, I found myself immersed, listening to the reality of challenges facing many women today.

 

Did you know it was only as recently as 1971 that Westpac became the first Australian bank to grant loans to women without requiring a male guarantor?

 

Or that the fastest-growing demographic for homelessness is women in their 50s?

 

Or that there are still thousands (if not hundreds of thousands) of women in Australia who have never had—and still don't have—their own bank account?

 

This blows my mind.

 

I spend a lot of time thinking and reflecting, as you've likely gathered from reading this weekly heart to heart, and hearing this just made me feel deeply sad.

 

It also made me even more motivated not to let the itty bitty shitty committee in my own head minimise me, my dreams, and my ambitions.

 

We have enough examples of women being minimised in the world around us; we certainly don't need to join the party and minimise ourselves.

 

Have you noticed if you've minimised yourself this week in any way?

 

What did you do, and do you know why?

 

One of the ways I know I minimise myself is through feeling a high level of obligation and responsibility. This plays out when I give my energy to meeting others' needs before my own.

 

I've noticed I get caught up in the societal-driven 'be a good girl' narrative, and at times, I’ve found myself betraying my own needs out of fear of disappointing others.

 

It’s a lot to carry such heavy expectations and societal narratives that aren't our own. The truth is, we aren’t bad people if we fill our own cup before trying to fill others'.

 

If anything, we have more to offer others through our unique gifts if we allow ourselves the time to nurture them first.

 

This coming week will be one of integrating the insights and decisions made recently. I'm expecting the internal discomfort I’m feeling to continue.

 

What I've learned through my own journey this week is that the path to self-alignment doesn't feel good in the moments you choose yourself over others.

 

Actually, it feels confronting and difficult. Because it feels so uncomfortable, you question yourself incessantly and wonder if you're doing the right thing.

 

I'm learning this is often the zone in which we unravel our decisions, we alleviate others' disappointment and instead choose to live disappointed with our own unmet needs. We choose the permanent feeling of self-betrayal over the temporary discomfort of disappointing others.

 

It's brutal, but that doesn't mean it's wrong. As I write these words to you, I'm writing them to myself too.

 

A big yes to yourself can mean an even bigger no to others, and when you're accustomed to saying yes all the time, it’s tough, but you still need to say it!

 

Give yourself grace this coming week, I know I will, my incredible 2025 year of inner transformation continues.

 

Keep going and keep growing.

 

Love Glin x

đź’›

 

P.S. Three wins from my week:

  1. Another ego death. The journey continues, and although I didn't expect this one, I'm grateful for the support around me as I navigated it.

  2. Enjoying Eagle Bay, Dunsborough and turquoise oceans. Dips in crystal-clear turquoise waters have been a highlight, along with lunches at beautiful vineyards. (My year of no alcohol remains intact!)

  3. Connection. John and I did our first WA Park Run. I love how we always find ways to connect with the local community whenever we travel.

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